so tangible

he's at it again
he's feelin so down
brought up the things of his past
his memories are so real
it did not slowly fade
it stayed
the past of a happier time
yet now it's all so distant
can he really not go back to his old self
he asked himself
he believes it's a no
the doors been closed on him
and he does not haf the keys
he's left alone in front of the door
it's juz the way life is to him
unfair
all the worries he had to worry bout
all the things he had to go thru
all the sadness he've got
he's still standin thru all these shit
but he's not tat strong
he seems to lose the will to fight on
he's tired after all these yrs
a laid back attitude is wad he got
now he prefer things to come to him
take control over him
he will not fight it anymore
take wadever u wan from him
take everythin away from him
his empty soul
his broken home
his sad stories
his fuckin life
take them all away from him
he's been thru all so many nites
juz thinkin how things used to be and now
he wanna noe how things went all so wrong
he bowed his head in shame
his head in his hands
and he lays in his bed
wishin he died
the lowered head dare not look up anymore
there's nothin within his listless eyes
listless since all too long ago
so long a time he forgot
all so many yrs ago
left fendin for himself since tat time
the empty hse with no love
no warmth
he got so used to it
he feels strange around love
perhaps it's solitude to him
leadin a life not worth mentionin
and he feels tat he do not deserve their love
he feels he's not worthy of such a wonderful thing
he thinks he deserves to be alone
his happy endin broken all too long ago
there's no need to mend the pieces of his shattered dreams
the pieces haf all disappeared all too long ago
he can't find it anymore
his heart still beatin they say it's for a reason
but he can't seem to find the reason why
and he feels so stranded
his mind doesn't haf a soul
his emptiness down within the depths of his heart
it's always been there
as he sat under the moon light
he ponders bout the people tat comes and goes
hidin away from their shadows
all the people in his life
everyone seems to come and go
he wonders why it haf to be this way
if only one person could ever stay
stay forever and a day
stand by him
if only
if only
he dunno for sure how long more can he hold on
he dunno for sure when will he ever drop
as always like the defeated man
he holds his head down
as he walked along the streets
lookin down on his feet
his spirit seems too distracted
as though he's pre-ocupied with somethin
they sense there's somethin on his mind
but he nvr let anyone looked inside his mind
it's not as if they understand
there's juz too much sadness for them to take
there's oso not much for them to noe
juz some fuckin problems
who will wanna noe a broken man anyway
who will wanna noe wad's inside
they can't be bothered
they walk away from him
nvr gave a damn bout him
even the one he loved
it's a fact he nvr deny
somethin he nvr wished to fight
let them be
let them see
his life been upside down all the while
he's been like this since so long
he used to tried
he tried to be different
he tried to prove himself
to hell woth all these things
it was juz his wishful thinkin
he can't even take good care of himself
he's juz all so tired
he lives now a slacker
keeps believin in scrappin thru life
juz barely survivin
perhaps tat's the only thing he cares
how many times haf he done tat
juz for tat
how long more can he take before he finally breaks
it seems they're awaitin the day
he feels it wun be too long
it's somethin so tangible to him
he feels there's no runnin away