cute gal

haf u ever need somebody onli for this nite
why do u keep stealin glances at me
jus come and noe me if u wan
guess u muz be taken
u're busily msgin away
but at least we met cutie
in the late of the nite
though i dunno u gal
but we did met
smile more
u deserve better
u look so beautiful when u smile
like a midnite lover
for it was the time i saw u
on the bus 80
how i wished the ride would nvr end
so tat i could haf all ur attention to myself
like in a world with onli u and me
truly in a world with u i wanna be
ur face keeps appearin in my head
u're all tat i could ever think bout
i feel i could need u for this nite
when all my thoughts are on u
and u're so cute
so wun u come to me
even for this nite
i'll be content
i feel i could really need ur warmth

holdin on to see you go once again

we're onli strangers as i saw the pain hidden in ur eyes
how can i make u forget bout the dreams
its onli heartache when u awake from ur dreams
okie to be lonely
as long as the tears aint fallin
holdin onto each other
onli to seperate
there's no need for reasons when it ends
walkin alone on an unfamilar street
walkin back will perhaps bring back pain
love onli to leave once again
there's no more need to wait for anyone

young and dangerous

different people
different dreams
i'm still dreaming bout my dreams right now
places tat i've never been
things tat i'll never be
but now is not the time to cry
it's the time to find out why
i noe my path ain't easy
but destiny is in my hands
i rather die trying
i haf my own dreams
i'll fly high as long
happiness can be bought with my life
but i can't betray myself
i won't stand aloof and do nothing
as long as i haf the courage to fight my fate
i noe my sufferin will end
i dun care how dangerous it'll be
i'm gonna change this world

juz someone

sing for this kid who dun haf a thing
except for a fuckin dream
for this kid whos been thru shit in his life
sittin down at nite to cry
wishin tat he died


17yrs of life
wasted away his youth
still wastin it by the sec
all the time in the world
all the undone things to do
looked upon on a different light
not wad they wan him to be
was it his fault


someone to hold me tight
as i lay in ur embrace
sleepin snugged like a child
a much deserved rest
ur gentle hands goin thru my hair
gently pattin me on my back
strokin me on the head
assurin the silly me
tats everythin gonna be alrite
ur comfort is all i need
u're the one for me
juz someone

fuck it

hate it every way
hate and pain
both of which are growin
hate and pain
my enemies
and the flowers bloom on the battlefield
for a reason they dunno
hate for every sec
pain for every moment
why can't i even get one sec of happiness
juz one fuckin sec
no respite in my life
life hates me the way it is
i wanna fly but i kept got held back
everytime i wanna break out
i wanna be the things i wanna be
i wanna be someone
i muz be somebody
hook by crook
i no longer care
i juz wan everythin
i wan u
i wan back the things tat were taken away from me
i wan my happiness tat was cruelly taken away back
i wanna make up for all the things i nvr had
i wan this fuckin world under my feet
i wanna stand on top
juz to shout out loud
fuck this world
and all that stand in my way
i dun haf a father like u
u're no kin of mine
so scram
this fuckin world seems to haf no place for me
no where for me to go
no where for me to stay
no where for me anywhere
it juz cant seems to take me in
fuck it

go away

wad am i to u?
is it juz the something of a something?
there's not much for me to say
for it's more than words can express
take my hand
and u can really feel
i'm not a dream
i'm real
i never meant to hurt u
but i noe ur pain is caused by me
i can't keep my promise to u baby
i'm so sorry
i hope u'll understand
pls gif me ur hand
i'll keep u company till the end
i dun ever wanna say goodbye
u can go
for who am i to keep u down
but i only hope tat u stay listen to the sound of my heartbeat
it's been screaming out for u
i can't let u go
i need u to stay baby,
juz gif me one more try
i'll go down on my knees for u
if u muz go,
pls gif me a reason
for there muz be a reason
i've always been a fighter
but without u i gif up
i ain't wad i am
perhaps i'm not tat good anymore
but i'll love u till the end
forever i'll be there for u
i noe even when i die
u'll be on my mind
so many memories tat i haf
some tat made me laugh
some tat made me cry
one tat made u decide to say goodbye

pathetic

feel the pain of the rain
maybe i suxs
dun i
tears flow down
and i dun even noe why
sadness tat's depressin
shut off my mind
killed off the pain
at least tried to
but to no avail
i dunno wad i really wan
if i could relive everythin again
i hate it everynite
the memories juz come and play
times and moments like this
i needed someone near
still lyin on the floor
writin things out
how pathetic
how pathetic
how pathetic

2 strangers

i noe it's stupid
but somehow i'm still hopin
my phone lyin still
forever tat silent
ur disappearance
u disappeared to make me forget
still hopin waitin for the day u appear again
i guess i noe
the tears we dropped
happiness or sadness
maybe my leavin is the best thing to happen

2 unfamilar faces from the start
strangers right from the beginnin
time slowly moved
and feelins crept in
wad kinda feelin is love
we chose usin tears
to be without each other
u stood before the loneliness door
and locked me in
tat was my true feelins for u
but ur heart turned away from me
walkin outta door
to try feelin again for myslef i'll try
i still believe tat forever is not lost
we're already the past tense
writin i love u these 3 words
i could gif up all to say these words again

maybe

special people
special me
perhaps my nothingness
or maybe my helplessness
maybe
tat's wad the word for
still it's better left unsaid
a promise nvr made
always be there
maybe
tat's all i can gif
empty life tat i had lived
can i put it together
maybe
haf a little hope
maybe there'll be more
will this deja vu ever end
waitin for the right kinda angel to come
crimes tat were nvr defined
hanged on the hooks of the stars
hold on
hold on
human affections in a private place
wad a pleasant dream
a ticket to a world i belong
back to back
hangin onto human faith
a journey nvr meant for
maybe
maybe
maybe i dunno at all
but maybe..

crazy sexy marvellous

hold me close
assure me
hold me tighter than before
assure me like nvr before
tat all my fears ain't comin true
tat all my nightmares ain't real
lay me in ur embrace
put me to peace
hold me to sleep
thru the dawn
the antenna on top of the tv
a sight beside the disc
and the hurling being thrown around
wad if tml nvr comes
and the horizons vertical
a hue like sapphire
crazy sexy marvellous
love a tragedy
a way u might describe
all the mixed emotions breakin
hear them cry
the angels fall
when their devotion fades

game

a senseless pain
a senseless life
an empty nite
a shallow fun
a meaningless time
an useless confrontation
an easy way out
still the smell of her lingers in my head
tat wonderfulness of hers
all so intact in my mind
sensous sensation
blows me rite off
i need ur body real close to mine
show me the wonders
tat u hide in u baby
i'm crazy for u tonite
a wonderful nite over in an instant
everythin's gone
and things back as they are
it's juz a game the 2 of us play

i noe

i made a meal
and threw it up on thurs mornin
i really got alot of things to learn
said i would
and i'll be leavin one day
before my heart starts to hurt
and if u're leavin
will u take me with u
i'm tired of sleepin all alone
wad's the matter with me
i juz wanna sing somethin new
cuz i noe
the cold and wind and rain dun go
they onli seem to come and go away
times are hard when things haf got no meanin
i'm watchin tv on my own

i believe in it
i do believe in it
and i still believe in it
as my soul slides away
gonna start a revolution now
to take tat look off from their face
nothin's now gonna put my heart out

they say things will work out rite
they say this is onli temporary
it's not gonna last forever
they say it will be over soon
they say it will they say it definately will
who am i to believe in
so many trains of thoughts goin around
messin up everythin
my world clouded by darkness
livin in this cold dark space
the empty room
the closed door
the closed windows
my onli safe haven
i need a getaway place
i need to getaway
somewhere to hide somewhere
to find my peace
i gotta fight for my peace
how ironic things can be
i gotta abandon my humanity
to take up the rusty sword
all to fight for my peace
my love my hate my angst my pride
all of a seventeen yr old
is this really my fate
perhaps i've been wrong all the while
after all.i've nvr been smart
i nvr had anythin
everythin i stood for were onli lies
in the end i've lost to myself
i've lost to them
i've lost to the world
haf i been wrong all the while
wrong in tryin to fight fate
wrong in tryin to fight my life
wrong tat i nvr admit defeat
even when i'm tired
now then i've know
so tired tat i couldn't sleep
this i sure do noe
i hate this life
i hate the person tat i am now
i tried to overcome my fears
all the possibilities
wad if i ain't wad i really seems
wad if i can't make it at all
wad if...
wad if...
too many ifs in my mind
look at me
take a good look at me
wad do u see
wad did u saw in me
i'll make it different
i'll make the difference
remember my face
i'll fly high
i make sure of tat no matter wad
no matter how
i'll fly higher than anyone has went
i did not gif up hope back then
i nvr did
i nvr will

anyone will do

listen to the sound of my lonely heart
still thinkin bout the past
how things used to be
tryin hard to live alone
day by day
everythin juz comes to me when i'm lyin in my bed
late at nite i struggled alone
right now onli memories are left
how i need a different place to hide
it really seems to me
tat there's no light at the end of darkness
all the things can nvr be the same again
can things ever work out rite
always disappointed at the end of everythin
everytime i tried hard
i put my heart into everythin i do
wad did i get back in return
and there's no one round to hold my hand
anyone would do
juz pls.someone
lay me to sleep comfort me like the kid i am
i need to noe again the feelin of secure
it's so hard to make it on my own
even harder when everyone tryin to make a fool outta me
makin me out to be a clown to them
juz to entertain them
fuck them all
everybody juz likes to mess me up
fuck them all

fly boy

this small crazy boy
wans to fly
away from this place
he's walkin on the road alone
travellin strollin wanderin along
on the long dusty windy road
he wans to see the sights
tat he couldn't but in his dreams
the lights tat lit the way are blindin
there are many things tat he would like to noe
but he dunno how
but maybe
he'll be able to make it someday
cuz maybe
he'll noe how to make it
and after all
he's onli seventeen
in this place he found no reason to stay
with the colors slowly fadin away
he wans to smile
he wans to laugh
and he wans to fly

special

okie this one special
requested by laoda
here goes...
4.30am in the mornin...
2guys stopped their mitsubishi galant in front of where i was sittin(on a fountain)
they got off their car and walked towards me
i took a look at them
one of them stared at me
i was thinkin "are they lookin for a fight???"
then suddenely let's call him guy 1
guy 1:police
me: *thinkin*(are u sure?)
guy1:ic pls
me: okie
guy2:how come so late still dun wan go home
guy2 then woke laoda who was sleepin on the chair up
laoda was blur blur
guy1:ic pls
me and laoda then handed over my ic and laoda ez link
guy 2:wad's ur address
laoda:wan send letter ar???
laoda still blur dunno wad's goin on
guy 2 i think oso blur blur nvr heard wad laoda was sayin
laoda then finally woke up said his add
guy1:how come so late still dun wan go home
me:come out to talk talk lor
guy 1 then went off on his walkie talkie
guy 1came back
guy1:got record anot
me:nope
guy 2 then handed back our ic
they then went off

the kindness endowed upon

unknowingly a yr has past
it all seems so long ago
and i grown used to this shit
peace or pity
i dun care
it's none of my business
they say i'm crazy
i am crazy
i'm not really ok
but it doesn't matter to me at all
it's not my past
and it's nvr gonna bother me
regrets i'm without any
the truth hit me long ago
somehow i'm still emotional
attached to the kindness of an older generation
if not for it
i would haf break away long ago
it's the onli thing tat keeps me here
i juz dun haf the heart to turn away
it's etched deep within my heart
the kindness endowed upon

tears devoured me

in the lonely hrs
the tears juz devoured me
and i can't deceive it
cuz even when i close my eyes
it's still so clear to me
under the stars on the black dark sky
and even any fool can see i'm fallin
but i juz dun understand
this i swear
sometimes i feel
all my dreams haf seen better days
but somehow now
i felt i've lost my way
and there's no light here to guide me
and no one to walk beside to
and the sky so dark and stormy
there's no one reachin out for me
there's no one i can go to
no one i can go to

everyday everynite

sleepless at nite
for who or wad
walkin along life
on a cold lonely nite
a long and windin road
i can onli hear my breathin
for every nite there is
my eyes wide open till dawn
my heart so empty
a pain tat no one understands
for every day there is
i always dun get to see u
till the sky turns dark
sadness tat blurs my vision
sleepin alone tryin to kill the pain
hopin to find salvation
for everyday and every nite

i dun wanna miss u
cuz i wanna be with u always
i dun ask for the world
juz some time together with u
i wanna feel u close
i need u close
i dun wan anythin else but u
i dun need anyone else but u
i'm on an addiction
keeps me cravin for more
i juz need u so much

simply amazin

charmin?
perhaps so
essential?
maybe so
from the eyes of another
i saw myself
so many faces to me
they say i'm like a mystery
a deep story behind it
had a hard time comin thru
and i thk u
for u're the man
u're one of the best
simply amazin

fuck it all
fuck them all
damm it all
fuckin damm it all
to hell with it
to fuckin hell with it all

stay gold

livin on the streets
he hated his father
all he wans is some sweet human affections
his heart ceased to beat
doesn't feel complete
there's no more objection

livin on his own
he's tired of this unhappy life
got so disappointed in suprises
why does he feel
how muz he act

livin out alone
not satisfied with juz this
who can he believe in
an emotion blackhole
juz suxs everythin in

in his mind he's still a child
forced to grow up at this age
had no choice but to do so
forced by circumstances

still like a lost kid
lookin out for directions
and he dreamt bout a dream
in it
the most beautiful sight

it's so hard to stay gold
in the world so tainted
but stay gold boy
stay

bored

there's always someone livin alone
there's always someone leavin alone
they dun care wad the people may say
they dun mind wad they see
pick it up
and put it down
choose it urself
many stories he had to tell
many dreams he like to sell
many words he wanna yell
but in the end
he still fell
there's nobody like they fade away

so hard to be a nice guy

it's the moments we shared
it's the fun we had
it's the times we haf
it's wad we both missed
but still we remain the same
dreamers as we are
dreams beyond the wildest dream
and no
we ain't bad
dun look at us tat way
we're onli seventeen

so hard to be a nice guy
harder when the cat dun acknowledges it
but still we are
the nice guys tat we always are

i'm shallow

lookin back
on my memories
on my past
for the 17yrs i walked
i feel so cheap rite now
found myself so haggard in front of the mirror
onli for me to break it
tat shld not be me
i used to be wad people wished to be
i used to be wad they envy
i was everythin beyond their reach
wad on earth haf i become now
facin the allurin temptation
i felt tat i could take the easy way out
givin up
wad had happened
where's the arrogance
where's the cockiness
where's the coolness
wad the hell had happened
things seem beyond my control
i became silent
silence around the air
helplessness spinnin around me
loneliness flowin in the nite
time keeps goin on
clingin onto wadever i can
felt so empty chasin after everythin
tryin so hard to keep everythin
but it's all fultile
lots of things haf lost their meanin
many new haf gained
reminscin still bout the past
too much sorrow
too little love
too much loneliness
too little care
too much sadness
too little happiness
keep blabberin on
and i seem so shallow

i wan u

in this city
i somehow found love in u
i nvr tot i could be in love again
till the day i met u

u taught me everythin
u made me believe in it

u took me for wad i am
u dun mind the fact of who i am
u juz took me as me
nvr wantin me to change in any ways

i wanna hold u
nvr to let u go
hold ur hand
walkin down the road with u
gaze at the stars at nite
under the beautiful nite sky

u went right thru
and touched my heart
u opened up my mind
and mend the pieces
u made me wanna fall in love again

i wanna love u till the end of time

neglected.forgotten

holdin on desperately onto the pieces of my life
tryin hard to hold them together
tryin to make some sense outta this
others noe u better than i do
u spend more time with others than with me
i'm neglected here
forgotten in the dark corner
or was i even on ur mind
onli when i dun bother to care
then will u find me important
why muz u be like this

till then i realised
i knew so little bout u
lots of things i nvr noe
i onli met u then
even now i still dunno
wadever it is
all so little
i nvr was in ur world
i'm insignificant to u
all the while
all along
u do not notice if i'm not here
u do not miss me if i'm not around
i guess i still wander alone
wadever it is
i shut myself out to the world
oblivious to anythin else
i closed my heart
the disappointment of expectation
dropped to the ground
sympathy so pathetic
u dunno the meanin of being lonely
u dunno the feelin of being neglected
drowned myself out
u'll still nvr noe

i'm shallow
my feelins so shallow
my life so hollow
and i noe
i can nvr be part of ur life
and u'll nvr gif up anythin for me
even though u say u would
so why am i thinkin so much
askin u to gif up anythin
simply too much to ask for
all i wan is a star tat shine onli for me
i'm selfish i noe
but who ain't
love is all i ever wan
is tat too much to ask
i guess it will nvr be
such things juz ain't to be
hope tat brings onli disappointment
tired of talkin
i've given up hope
totally without any
i dun wish to speak anymore
for u dun wanna hear any of this
i washed my hands clean off this shit
dun bother me bout such stuff
i nvr wish to be embroiled
it makes no sense
dun come complainin to me anymore
i dun wish to care
so little time
so much to do
yet u rather spend time with others than with me
u said goodbye too many times before
u changed so much
or maybe i nvr knew u at all

i've lost my place

the dawn is onli hrs away
the place still filled with darkness
i'm lyin on my bed
devoured by the loneliness at nite
the onli color in my life
nth much in my head
juz the same old stuborness
refusin to close my eyes
but even the best fall down sometimes
and when the stars refuse to shine
my world juz collides with emptiness
and when time stops here
i've lost my place
i'm far behind
and all the doubts tat fill my mind
i somehow find i'm still feelin blue

maybe words can't express my feelins anymore
my nightmares all seem comin true
there's no control
emotions juz flow
distort the truth of reality
livin in lies
it's all my fault
i dun haf a thing
except for a dream
no one can take my tml away

juz me

all of a sudden feelin so empty
everyone seems to disappear without a trace
and i dunno why
the loneliness so allurin
and i grown to like the nite
the beauty of darkness
it nvr fails to impress me
and the rhythm of the nite
became the feelin of my life
the heartbeat of mine
all so audible in the silence of the nite
right in the middle of the city
i juz can't fight life
and i juz can't win
i nvr wanna compete with anyone
never wish to
so wad if i win
so wad if i lose
are u happy? i dun wanna be someone tat i'm not
do wad i dun wanna do
pretend to be wad i'm supposed to be
i juz wanna be me

techno songs

crazy baby
will u be my private fantasy
and gimme love
cuz ur love is my energy
when u show me colors of the nite
i'll feel blue no more
and when i'm hungry for ur love
will u take me tonight
and be my lover
for tonight is the night
cuz when we come together
i'll be like flyin high
bcuz the nite belongs to us tonight
and i need a lover tonite
and i noe u're the one for me
so when u free me with ur words of love
i feel tat love is the message
cuz when i fall in love
i can't stop ravin
and i nvr wanna runaway
i noe cuz when i look into ur eyes
i feel like i'm in heaven
as my heart beats like a drum
i can see the stars in the nite
and listen to the rain
too much is nvr enuff
there'll be a star for u and me

beauty or beast

appreciatin the simple things
admirin their simplicity in beauty
the free flowin of water
the flyin freedom of the bird
feelin the breeze of the wind
across my skin
flowers out in full bloom
the beauty broken by intrusion
the perfect silence shattered by senseless noise
watchin them goin bout
so happily in their lifes
laughter tat flies thru the air
i wonder if this could be life
is my dreams too wild
or muz i face up to reality
i closed my eyes to shut off the noise
to enjoy the moment
and yet again
the moment broken
imperfect
on the verge of tears
touched by beauty or shattered dreams

my trail

hidin away my sadness
closed my eyes
still thinkin bout lots of things
under the moonlight
still lookin for tat star
my complicated feelins
will anyone understand
if leavin will stop all the pain
i'll drop everythin
and leave at once
walkin along the road
listenin to my techno
and with a smile
down the street
as i slowly close my eyes
goin out in style
not before makin a mess
i ain't good lookin
and i'm no one's child
i'll still walk on alone
the trail of tears
it could not be mine
tears of mine haf dried up
except for tat one drop in my heart which will nvr go
watchin a million cars go by
seein the busy people play
all under the early mornin sun
and till the nite falls
watchin the bright neon lights
tat light so bright in the night tonight
i felt tat everythin could juz flow

somebody tell me why

how many special people change?
how many will still remain the same?
slowly walkin down the street
faster than a cannonball
maybe u will find me
caught up in my own thoughts
along the streets
wanderin bout alone
and as the nite falls
the busy people runs
in their pursuit
they follow their shadows around blindly
chasin after it
and they hide away in the shade of their shadows
always hidin away
i'm standin in the middle of the hustle
deep among the crowd
and i look up into the empty sky
i started to ask why
tell me why
cuz i nvr wanna say goodbye
somebody tell me why
cuz i feel tat there is someone out there
someone who noes me deep inside

i'm proud of me

i'm a wild child
nobody's child
no one cares bout me
no one bothers bout me
goin wherever i wan
livin by the streets
playin against the rules
lyin bout in the middle of the nite
nothin in the world bothers me
without a trace of worries
nothin in the world could make me stay
not much things matter to me
lots of things makes no difference
i'm a wild child
and i'm proud of it
i got nth to prove to u all

so many things to do
so many promises to fulfill
so many dreams to make come true
and i wish on the star
i promise to make it all thru
no matter wad's ahead
i'm still free and easy
i'm juz me
keep on believin
yes i do
as long as i'm still myself
i can fight on
as long as i haf the courage to challenge fate
all my dreams will be
unable to compromise
forever not
i wanna be myself
dun ever wanna change abit
love me for wad i am
take me as wad i am
and if u ever wanna come along
i'm happy to haf u by my side
to hug me when i needed warmth
to hold me when i needed comfort
jzu stay by my side
and i'll do all i could
to make u always happy
feel my dreams
u and me
to hold together in our world

it's u

gal u helped me thru
i ain't somebody
but u loved me nontheless
and when my days dun seem perfect
u're there
when my world collides
u're still there
when i 'm all alone
always there
u made me feel lonely no more
u cared
u made me feel
u made me wanna fall in love again
no matter wad u are
i can't thk u enuff
i dunno wad to say
it's juz the way u made me feel
the feelin's good
to noe tat someone care
and it's u

i believe in it

somewhere deep inside of me
i'll find the joy i used to haf
the place tat i wanna be
always been alone this life
been searchin for a place called home
been thru sadness too many times
i noe my heart's cold
but i noe it can nvr be too late
someday i'll be everythin
will be complete
all the happiness in the world
and i believe in it

i headed away

lookin at the stories of others
their love seems so good
though sad sometimes
seeing him so happily in love
i was reminded of a happier time
why muz good things be so short
leavin behind onli the memories
why muz problems appear
so sad he was
i was so sorry for him
he had to go thru the same thing i did
he tried hard to forget
but he was in too deep
too deep to help himself out

love such a sweet thing
yet leavin a bitter aftertaste
u noe when it's gone
i wonder wad i'll do if i was in his shoes

their love story quite a tragedy
juz like mine
it reminds me
watchin the beloved into the arms of another man
thinkin of the past
i wanna put it all behind

i headed away
away from the place u were
my mind still filled with our memories
i tried to go faster
still i can't shake off the sadness tat follows

love me gal until the end

in a world so cold
it's ur hand i wanna hold
till we both grow old
like the fairytales we were told
forever together in our world

into my world
baby hand in hand
love me gal
until the end
and all i wan
is for u to be my gal
my love grows strong
and it's for u
cuz baby ur love is my energy
u're the one
the one i need
it seems like i'm losin my mind
but when u're close to me
i feel so fine
so gal pls take my hand
i wanna share my world with u

gal

u had got me
so much tat i wanna fall in love again
u got me thru my sadness
helped me when i falled
accompanied when i'm down
it's the way my heart goes
i wanna hold u tight
out of control
gal.u noe
i ain't somebody
but u cared nontheless
and u're there for me
i'm real glad u understand
the problems of mine
i'm glad u'll wait
i could nvr tot u would
u walked right into my heart
touched me so gently
u healed the broken heart
u mend the shattered dreams
u're the one and only

seventeen

seventeen
u're only still seventeen
but u had so much more to worry bout
u had gone thru so much
u deserve a rest
but u noe they wun let u haf it
u deserve better
u nvr had someone by ur side
to support u
to hold u
when u're fallin down
everythin goin against ur way
but u juz kept believin
makin ur own destiny

back in

mixed emotions as i looked into ur eyes
those eyes of urs
tat used to looked back at me so gently
as i recalled back the old days
the feelins of yesterday
those mesmerizin eyes
the captivatin eye sight
all the irresistable charm of urs
got me all so into u
and all i could ever think of u
u made me wanna fall in love again
when u appeared out of nowhere
before my eyes with a smile on ur face
and i fell right back in
simply irresistable

no difference

let the stars and moon keep me company
as they share my emptiness
tat's wad they are to me
they haf my loneliness
dun ever take them away from me
they are my every
tat's wad they are
wash me clean
as they take away my sanity
it's over
but it dun seem too different
and perfect isn't really perfect

ur thoughtless words still goin in my head
breakin my heart apart
turnin into pieces
as the fragments pierced thru
a pain tat's undescribable
hurtin from so deep within
and i juz dun haf the strength to go on
i'm so weak
could only shrugged things off with a laugh
and pretend to smile
as u turned and walked away
as ur back slowly fades from sight
still i could only watch
the day u went away

my nightmares

all my nightmares
they were once beautiful dreams too
all my broken dreams
they were once juz for u
can everythin be slowly taken away
and stop my nvr endin tears
i was once in too deep
i was too dependent on ur love tat nvr came
and when u took everythin away
i finally woke up to reality
lovin u was but a dream
perhaps the more deeply i love u
the more pain u'll haf
maybe it's time i let go
as ur back slowly disappears from sight
and i wonder how long it'll take
for me to totally let u go
every time my phone starts to ring
my heart starts to beat fast
wonderin if it could ever be u
it ended with heart ache every time
and i'll be so down
to talk bout happiness
i'm not worthy
and i noe a happy endin does not exist
this i noe better than anyone else
hidin away from love
cuz i can't gif u happiness
and i can't gif u a tomorrow
i could only return u ur present

so tangible

he's at it again
he's feelin so down
brought up the things of his past
his memories are so real
it did not slowly fade
it stayed
the past of a happier time
yet now it's all so distant
can he really not go back to his old self
he asked himself
he believes it's a no
the doors been closed on him
and he does not haf the keys
he's left alone in front of the door
it's juz the way life is to him
unfair
all the worries he had to worry bout
all the things he had to go thru
all the sadness he've got
he's still standin thru all these shit
but he's not tat strong
he seems to lose the will to fight on
he's tired after all these yrs
a laid back attitude is wad he got
now he prefer things to come to him
take control over him
he will not fight it anymore
take wadever u wan from him
take everythin away from him
his empty soul
his broken home
his sad stories
his fuckin life
take them all away from him
he's been thru all so many nites
juz thinkin how things used to be and now
he wanna noe how things went all so wrong
he bowed his head in shame
his head in his hands
and he lays in his bed
wishin he died
the lowered head dare not look up anymore
there's nothin within his listless eyes
listless since all too long ago
so long a time he forgot
all so many yrs ago
left fendin for himself since tat time
the empty hse with no love
no warmth
he got so used to it
he feels strange around love
perhaps it's solitude to him
leadin a life not worth mentionin
and he feels tat he do not deserve their love
he feels he's not worthy of such a wonderful thing
he thinks he deserves to be alone
his happy endin broken all too long ago
there's no need to mend the pieces of his shattered dreams
the pieces haf all disappeared all too long ago
he can't find it anymore
his heart still beatin they say it's for a reason
but he can't seem to find the reason why
and he feels so stranded
his mind doesn't haf a soul
his emptiness down within the depths of his heart
it's always been there
as he sat under the moon light
he ponders bout the people tat comes and goes
hidin away from their shadows
all the people in his life
everyone seems to come and go
he wonders why it haf to be this way
if only one person could ever stay
stay forever and a day
stand by him
if only
if only
he dunno for sure how long more can he hold on
he dunno for sure when will he ever drop
as always like the defeated man
he holds his head down
as he walked along the streets
lookin down on his feet
his spirit seems too distracted
as though he's pre-ocupied with somethin
they sense there's somethin on his mind
but he nvr let anyone looked inside his mind
it's not as if they understand
there's juz too much sadness for them to take
there's oso not much for them to noe
juz some fuckin problems
who will wanna noe a broken man anyway
who will wanna noe wad's inside
they can't be bothered
they walk away from him
nvr gave a damn bout him
even the one he loved
it's a fact he nvr deny
somethin he nvr wished to fight
let them be
let them see
his life been upside down all the while
he's been like this since so long
he used to tried
he tried to be different
he tried to prove himself
to hell woth all these things
it was juz his wishful thinkin
he can't even take good care of himself
he's juz all so tired
he lives now a slacker
keeps believin in scrappin thru life
juz barely survivin
perhaps tat's the only thing he cares
how many times haf he done tat
juz for tat
how long more can he take before he finally breaks
it seems they're awaitin the day
he feels it wun be too long
it's somethin so tangible to him
he feels there's no runnin away