change is hard

comin to grips with reality
the present self tat i am now
slowly reassertin in this time and place
same old sights and same old place
the onli thing is me tat changed
a long time ago when everythin was fine
so different.so different now
every bad times has its silver linin
mine was ya back then
times have changed and change is hard
in this world
in this heart
every different stage of life
every other different faces
each another story
many a dream i would like to sell
to take away the hurt of each dream

pain way too painful

takin things hard and it hurts so much
another point of view
another perspective
another way
another happy endin and i'll be alive

its time like this tat i hate myself
things tat are juz outta my own hands

2yrs ago and it would have been perfect
was stupid.was blind
was the biggest fool not to realise anythin at all
the emotions in the atmosphere of u and me
the skyline a perfect hue
untouched.pure and gold
silence was most treasured
decibels tat broke thru the serene surreal
puttin on the music in an attempt to cut off the blues
overwhelmin pain tats hidden
cuz i juz had too much things unsaid to u

dun pretend u can forget bout me
another casualty of normality
dun count on me to conform
nvr to fall in line
nothin is wasted.onli regretted
always a chillin rain
soakin pain
the start of the end roll
even if i dun understand
i still remember faithfully without fail
the leaves drop like the way im missin
salvagin before the set in
till they hit the ground
all i ever wanted was to stay by ur side a longer while

everytime i walk
take away my lone dignity
not afraid to lose it all
gamblin my happiness away
all or nothin such are the stakes
u'll take away my everythin everytime u leave
ur back view seen one too many times
closed my eyes as it fades from view
in my head all i ever saw
the few last words tat i heard
the notarnal tunes tat breaks ur heart everytime u hear
no matter how long it has been for u
i write for old memories sake
the heart tat beats only for u
all stale and cold within

until the day we die
in a pool of blood
i mean it
i mean this
we'll make the same mistakes
i'll take the fall for ya till blood soaks my shirt
nvr fall apart yet this hurts so much

the room keys borrowed.used and returned
just like ur hands
enough of my uselessness
takin away my life but learnin to smile again
forehead kissed.warmed.slowly losin warmth
cold.over.used to this kinda heartbeat
finally understandin happiness was nvr lackin
forget it
forget it
enough.more than satisfied
loved.kissed.
juz like holdin ur hands

too painful a mistake
too painful a lesson
a world of fools tryin to break us down
and u may not feel tat i care for u
keep me warm in ur love and u softly leave

if only u could see the way she is
u would understand why i feel this way
and what i muz do bout this love
if onli u could see her beautiful eyes when she says
when she says i love u
u would noe how much i would do for her

one too many bad day tat i gotten used to livin
freedom tat goes up in flames
tats the only way when everythins so wrong

dunno how i can make it all up to u
after all the hurt ive put u thru
and all the times i caused u pain
i dun tink i can ever repay
not even with this stupid life of mine

empty.they float thru my hands
my identity.has it been taken
gimme the strength i need
the strength to keep on goin
life would haf been better off dead
at least nobody would be sad
so much so for all the things done and said
takin it no more

and so as we

set my heart at ease
clenchin a fist
fightin the wind
closed my eyes to feel with the heart

cuz she reminds me of u
down to the little small things tat u'd like to do
and i noe this time its really goodbye
as i raised my hands to reach for the sky
ive always been true
ive waited so long
its been far too long in all tat we do
closer to heaven with u
seems tat ure cold in love
the past tense could not come in time to start all over again
walkin at a pace where only u can walk alone
its not like i can understand
lest even speak and so as we go
and so as i write