i noe

i made a meal
and threw it up on thurs mornin
i really got alot of things to learn
said i would
and i'll be leavin one day
before my heart starts to hurt
and if u're leavin
will u take me with u
i'm tired of sleepin all alone
wad's the matter with me
i juz wanna sing somethin new
cuz i noe
the cold and wind and rain dun go
they onli seem to come and go away
times are hard when things haf got no meanin
i'm watchin tv on my own

i believe in it
i do believe in it
and i still believe in it
as my soul slides away
gonna start a revolution now
to take tat look off from their face
nothin's now gonna put my heart out

they say things will work out rite
they say this is onli temporary
it's not gonna last forever
they say it will be over soon
they say it will they say it definately will
who am i to believe in
so many trains of thoughts goin around
messin up everythin
my world clouded by darkness
livin in this cold dark space
the empty room
the closed door
the closed windows
my onli safe haven
i need a getaway place
i need to getaway
somewhere to hide somewhere
to find my peace
i gotta fight for my peace
how ironic things can be
i gotta abandon my humanity
to take up the rusty sword
all to fight for my peace
my love my hate my angst my pride
all of a seventeen yr old
is this really my fate
perhaps i've been wrong all the while
after all.i've nvr been smart
i nvr had anythin
everythin i stood for were onli lies
in the end i've lost to myself
i've lost to them
i've lost to the world
haf i been wrong all the while
wrong in tryin to fight fate
wrong in tryin to fight my life
wrong tat i nvr admit defeat
even when i'm tired
now then i've know
so tired tat i couldn't sleep
this i sure do noe
i hate this life
i hate the person tat i am now
i tried to overcome my fears
all the possibilities
wad if i ain't wad i really seems
wad if i can't make it at all
wad if...
wad if...
too many ifs in my mind
look at me
take a good look at me
wad do u see
wad did u saw in me
i'll make it different
i'll make the difference
remember my face
i'll fly high
i make sure of tat no matter wad
no matter how
i'll fly higher than anyone has went
i did not gif up hope back then
i nvr did
i nvr will

anyone will do

listen to the sound of my lonely heart
still thinkin bout the past
how things used to be
tryin hard to live alone
day by day
everythin juz comes to me when i'm lyin in my bed
late at nite i struggled alone
right now onli memories are left
how i need a different place to hide
it really seems to me
tat there's no light at the end of darkness
all the things can nvr be the same again
can things ever work out rite
always disappointed at the end of everythin
everytime i tried hard
i put my heart into everythin i do
wad did i get back in return
and there's no one round to hold my hand
anyone would do
juz pls.someone
lay me to sleep comfort me like the kid i am
i need to noe again the feelin of secure
it's so hard to make it on my own
even harder when everyone tryin to make a fool outta me
makin me out to be a clown to them
juz to entertain them
fuck them all
everybody juz likes to mess me up
fuck them all

fly boy

this small crazy boy
wans to fly
away from this place
he's walkin on the road alone
travellin strollin wanderin along
on the long dusty windy road
he wans to see the sights
tat he couldn't but in his dreams
the lights tat lit the way are blindin
there are many things tat he would like to noe
but he dunno how
but maybe
he'll be able to make it someday
cuz maybe
he'll noe how to make it
and after all
he's onli seventeen
in this place he found no reason to stay
with the colors slowly fadin away
he wans to smile
he wans to laugh
and he wans to fly

special

okie this one special
requested by laoda
here goes...
4.30am in the mornin...
2guys stopped their mitsubishi galant in front of where i was sittin(on a fountain)
they got off their car and walked towards me
i took a look at them
one of them stared at me
i was thinkin "are they lookin for a fight???"
then suddenely let's call him guy 1
guy 1:police
me: *thinkin*(are u sure?)
guy1:ic pls
me: okie
guy2:how come so late still dun wan go home
guy2 then woke laoda who was sleepin on the chair up
laoda was blur blur
guy1:ic pls
me and laoda then handed over my ic and laoda ez link
guy 2:wad's ur address
laoda:wan send letter ar???
laoda still blur dunno wad's goin on
guy 2 i think oso blur blur nvr heard wad laoda was sayin
laoda then finally woke up said his add
guy1:how come so late still dun wan go home
me:come out to talk talk lor
guy 1 then went off on his walkie talkie
guy 1came back
guy1:got record anot
me:nope
guy 2 then handed back our ic
they then went off

the kindness endowed upon

unknowingly a yr has past
it all seems so long ago
and i grown used to this shit
peace or pity
i dun care
it's none of my business
they say i'm crazy
i am crazy
i'm not really ok
but it doesn't matter to me at all
it's not my past
and it's nvr gonna bother me
regrets i'm without any
the truth hit me long ago
somehow i'm still emotional
attached to the kindness of an older generation
if not for it
i would haf break away long ago
it's the onli thing tat keeps me here
i juz dun haf the heart to turn away
it's etched deep within my heart
the kindness endowed upon

tears devoured me

in the lonely hrs
the tears juz devoured me
and i can't deceive it
cuz even when i close my eyes
it's still so clear to me
under the stars on the black dark sky
and even any fool can see i'm fallin
but i juz dun understand
this i swear
sometimes i feel
all my dreams haf seen better days
but somehow now
i felt i've lost my way
and there's no light here to guide me
and no one to walk beside to
and the sky so dark and stormy
there's no one reachin out for me
there's no one i can go to
no one i can go to

everyday everynite

sleepless at nite
for who or wad
walkin along life
on a cold lonely nite
a long and windin road
i can onli hear my breathin
for every nite there is
my eyes wide open till dawn
my heart so empty
a pain tat no one understands
for every day there is
i always dun get to see u
till the sky turns dark
sadness tat blurs my vision
sleepin alone tryin to kill the pain
hopin to find salvation
for everyday and every nite

i dun wanna miss u
cuz i wanna be with u always
i dun ask for the world
juz some time together with u
i wanna feel u close
i need u close
i dun wan anythin else but u
i dun need anyone else but u
i'm on an addiction
keeps me cravin for more
i juz need u so much

simply amazin

charmin?
perhaps so
essential?
maybe so
from the eyes of another
i saw myself
so many faces to me
they say i'm like a mystery
a deep story behind it
had a hard time comin thru
and i thk u
for u're the man
u're one of the best
simply amazin

fuck it all
fuck them all
damm it all
fuckin damm it all
to hell with it
to fuckin hell with it all

stay gold

livin on the streets
he hated his father
all he wans is some sweet human affections
his heart ceased to beat
doesn't feel complete
there's no more objection

livin on his own
he's tired of this unhappy life
got so disappointed in suprises
why does he feel
how muz he act

livin out alone
not satisfied with juz this
who can he believe in
an emotion blackhole
juz suxs everythin in

in his mind he's still a child
forced to grow up at this age
had no choice but to do so
forced by circumstances

still like a lost kid
lookin out for directions
and he dreamt bout a dream
in it
the most beautiful sight

it's so hard to stay gold
in the world so tainted
but stay gold boy
stay

bored

there's always someone livin alone
there's always someone leavin alone
they dun care wad the people may say
they dun mind wad they see
pick it up
and put it down
choose it urself
many stories he had to tell
many dreams he like to sell
many words he wanna yell
but in the end
he still fell
there's nobody like they fade away

so hard to be a nice guy

it's the moments we shared
it's the fun we had
it's the times we haf
it's wad we both missed
but still we remain the same
dreamers as we are
dreams beyond the wildest dream
and no
we ain't bad
dun look at us tat way
we're onli seventeen

so hard to be a nice guy
harder when the cat dun acknowledges it
but still we are
the nice guys tat we always are

i'm shallow

lookin back
on my memories
on my past
for the 17yrs i walked
i feel so cheap rite now
found myself so haggard in front of the mirror
onli for me to break it
tat shld not be me
i used to be wad people wished to be
i used to be wad they envy
i was everythin beyond their reach
wad on earth haf i become now
facin the allurin temptation
i felt tat i could take the easy way out
givin up
wad had happened
where's the arrogance
where's the cockiness
where's the coolness
wad the hell had happened
things seem beyond my control
i became silent
silence around the air
helplessness spinnin around me
loneliness flowin in the nite
time keeps goin on
clingin onto wadever i can
felt so empty chasin after everythin
tryin so hard to keep everythin
but it's all fultile
lots of things haf lost their meanin
many new haf gained
reminscin still bout the past
too much sorrow
too little love
too much loneliness
too little care
too much sadness
too little happiness
keep blabberin on
and i seem so shallow

i wan u

in this city
i somehow found love in u
i nvr tot i could be in love again
till the day i met u

u taught me everythin
u made me believe in it

u took me for wad i am
u dun mind the fact of who i am
u juz took me as me
nvr wantin me to change in any ways

i wanna hold u
nvr to let u go
hold ur hand
walkin down the road with u
gaze at the stars at nite
under the beautiful nite sky

u went right thru
and touched my heart
u opened up my mind
and mend the pieces
u made me wanna fall in love again

i wanna love u till the end of time

neglected.forgotten

holdin on desperately onto the pieces of my life
tryin hard to hold them together
tryin to make some sense outta this
others noe u better than i do
u spend more time with others than with me
i'm neglected here
forgotten in the dark corner
or was i even on ur mind
onli when i dun bother to care
then will u find me important
why muz u be like this

till then i realised
i knew so little bout u
lots of things i nvr noe
i onli met u then
even now i still dunno
wadever it is
all so little
i nvr was in ur world
i'm insignificant to u
all the while
all along
u do not notice if i'm not here
u do not miss me if i'm not around
i guess i still wander alone
wadever it is
i shut myself out to the world
oblivious to anythin else
i closed my heart
the disappointment of expectation
dropped to the ground
sympathy so pathetic
u dunno the meanin of being lonely
u dunno the feelin of being neglected
drowned myself out
u'll still nvr noe

i'm shallow
my feelins so shallow
my life so hollow
and i noe
i can nvr be part of ur life
and u'll nvr gif up anythin for me
even though u say u would
so why am i thinkin so much
askin u to gif up anythin
simply too much to ask for
all i wan is a star tat shine onli for me
i'm selfish i noe
but who ain't
love is all i ever wan
is tat too much to ask
i guess it will nvr be
such things juz ain't to be
hope tat brings onli disappointment
tired of talkin
i've given up hope
totally without any
i dun wish to speak anymore
for u dun wanna hear any of this
i washed my hands clean off this shit
dun bother me bout such stuff
i nvr wish to be embroiled
it makes no sense
dun come complainin to me anymore
i dun wish to care
so little time
so much to do
yet u rather spend time with others than with me
u said goodbye too many times before
u changed so much
or maybe i nvr knew u at all

i've lost my place

the dawn is onli hrs away
the place still filled with darkness
i'm lyin on my bed
devoured by the loneliness at nite
the onli color in my life
nth much in my head
juz the same old stuborness
refusin to close my eyes
but even the best fall down sometimes
and when the stars refuse to shine
my world juz collides with emptiness
and when time stops here
i've lost my place
i'm far behind
and all the doubts tat fill my mind
i somehow find i'm still feelin blue

maybe words can't express my feelins anymore
my nightmares all seem comin true
there's no control
emotions juz flow
distort the truth of reality
livin in lies
it's all my fault
i dun haf a thing
except for a dream
no one can take my tml away

juz me

all of a sudden feelin so empty
everyone seems to disappear without a trace
and i dunno why
the loneliness so allurin
and i grown to like the nite
the beauty of darkness
it nvr fails to impress me
and the rhythm of the nite
became the feelin of my life
the heartbeat of mine
all so audible in the silence of the nite
right in the middle of the city
i juz can't fight life
and i juz can't win
i nvr wanna compete with anyone
never wish to
so wad if i win
so wad if i lose
are u happy? i dun wanna be someone tat i'm not
do wad i dun wanna do
pretend to be wad i'm supposed to be
i juz wanna be me

techno songs

crazy baby
will u be my private fantasy
and gimme love
cuz ur love is my energy
when u show me colors of the nite
i'll feel blue no more
and when i'm hungry for ur love
will u take me tonight
and be my lover
for tonight is the night
cuz when we come together
i'll be like flyin high
bcuz the nite belongs to us tonight
and i need a lover tonite
and i noe u're the one for me
so when u free me with ur words of love
i feel tat love is the message
cuz when i fall in love
i can't stop ravin
and i nvr wanna runaway
i noe cuz when i look into ur eyes
i feel like i'm in heaven
as my heart beats like a drum
i can see the stars in the nite
and listen to the rain
too much is nvr enuff
there'll be a star for u and me