negativity

a million feelins across the mind
a million emotions tat can only be mine
mixed and clouded
castin a shadow of a doubt upon my ownself
upon the light shinin unto me
feelin the judgement of myself towards everyone else
a depressin feelin to bring along to sleep
like the negativity of a subtraction sign
till two of a similar become one
to a positive then shall us become

wad if i was the one by ur side
wad if i was the one tat read ur mind
wad if i was the one to say those words to ya
wad ifs and wad would had been
a single chance which will nvr happen
to cherish a single shared moment with ya

heaven knows

heaven knows how much i would give to be with ya
and to be by ur side
i used to believe
the way as i had remember
wants to talk to ya but ure nvr around when it matters
the time seems like forever
when u and i are away from each other
october.november.december
markin them down on the calendar

gone are the days of summer
settin in the time of winter
heaven knows how much i loved ya

a closure of a chapter
yet still stuck among the pages
wadever comes will go
wadever goes will never return
a change tat i can understand
wads between us need not be said more
a cliff hanger endin
cuz we never said a proper goodbye
wad nvr started could nvr be ended

goin back to a world only i know
seems like a step into a few years back
where day and nite doesnt matters
when day and nite blurs
when day and nite makes no diiference
when the only thing tat matters in the world was ya

if i was transient like a flower
i'll bloom right by ur side
and as i watch ya smile
i'll fade into oblivion
quietly into my world of sub zero

and i'll keep every memory of ya
away in a shoebox
a box of love
a box of memories
each one an unique experience
over the years i keep
over the years i remember
u are wad u are to me still
haven changed
not for abit
not for awhile
if u ever still remembered a card tat u wrote
i'll tell ya tat all tats inside
im workin hard to make it true one day
and when tat day
it'll be like the exact same
where u'll be the first
to see wad we can have together

under the apple tree
hand in hand
watchin every sunrise and set
till we both grow old
when our hair shall turn white with time
its only our love tat stays gold

startin a day
awaitin the end of another
when this aint over by a long shot
blowin hot and cold
a day like this
and im standin still like the weather doesnt matter at all
an expired promise
no longer clear bout such feelins
the movies
the books and the music
in control no more
too much rules and philosophies
happiness onli happens after sadness
and not to mention the temptation to scream
can it be easier
cuz it only seems to keep on goin back
it all falls apart

i dun think its fair
to keep on givin
i dun think its right
to keep on doin

its good to let things off ur chest
only if u had someone to talk to
its good to let out ur feelins
only if u had someone to pour out to

along the way we lost ourselves
within ourselves we lost our way
im still here
till the break of day
memories fade away
when time ceased to stay

im standin in the dust tat ure kickin
the trail of ur globe-trottin
lookin at the space tat im dreamin
wonderin if its u tat im seein
one too many times im thinkin
and im ponderin on wads goin on
like this dreamin was wrong

twelve hours

nothin could have hurt more than this
waited for ya till the middle of the night
till the lights have all went out

so many feelins unable to put to words
unable to express the deepest emotions
and i know the one by ur side will not be me
and i know the one for ya will not be me
watchin ya.slowly forgettin
silence much treasured

watchin ya in the arms of another
if only to happen over again
a tad too pitiful
ur tears ruinin ur mascara
as u said to me

two am wide awake in the mornin
three am when loneliness is callin
four and ure in the other half of the word barely wakin
five in my world im barely sleepin
six feelin refuses to go away
seven till the end of the day im countin
eight and im back to missin
nine am in my head ure all tat i am tinkin
ten its no one else but ya im rememberin
eleven if only to see ya again
twelve am and wad a fool i've been

addiction an unhealthy obsession
remember us as we used to be
breathe u in to stay alive
and its one more second to be with ya
tastin the sunshine and the apple tree
till we both grow old
love's still gold

lazin upon the open patch
breathin the scent of urs in the air
caressin thru ur hair
holdin u near
sweeter than anythin else
i love ya and this time its for real

outta nothin at all

and i tink tat i'll be able to get used to livin alone
and i believe tat i can still go on without u by my side
love is a dream tat i overslept

to start all over again
if only to see u once again
only to live one more day with ya
and wad would be left after tat day

i sleep at five
countin the hours to one
from left to right
when everythin seems so wrong
if only i knew the words to say
if only i knew just how to touch u
i would have told ya everythin tat i've gotta tell u
i would have made u mine
nvr would had let u fell
i can only follow for its the only thing i know
and i know im nothin till i give my everythin to ya

outta nothin at all

i'll be ur teddy bear
to let u hold deep into the nite
and then i'll slowly leave
quietly without a trace
if u ever so insist
not stayin a moment longer than needed
watchin ya from the sides
when one metre seems like a million light years
a world apart in that one metre

if there is a choice to smile
we would not have to cry
leadin right up to this moment
givin up everythin
leavin each and every familiar places
and we wouldnt care bout forever
farewell in the middle of the night
leavin me in the dreams

let me hold ya for one more minute
wad is there of us after tat one minute

walked past ur door
and u dun live there anymore
months like years passed by
and i noe
the reasons tat were given
the reasons tat we had learned to accept

and i told u how sad i would be
if u were to ever forget me

and i wil be waitin
and i will be willin
to take the fall from grace for ya when u fall

still very much in love with one another
juz no way in together

a little more and u'll touch the sky
the garden of angels tat awaits

its juz u
the same old one tat i knew
ur traits and ur habits
ur loves and ur hate
i loved ya.i loved ya
stop breathin
i dun see u anymore
and i dreamt
and i keep dreamin

sweetness of a dream
all within the solace of ur arms
misunderstandins tat causes rifts
when the both of us begins to drift
and love does not heal all wounds

i love the way i waste my life
i love the way i waste my time
u noe it aint wasted cuz its spent waitin for ya

lettin go doesnt seem so easy
neither a choice to go forward nor backwards
buryin it under them all
hopin to forget when time passes by
like u always do
like u always do
still like the one i knew

u noe im still waitin

cried all nite till there was no tears left
leavin u an emotion wreck
takin it hard the way u would
a broken heap on the floor
wad else can u do with a sentimental heart
old habits die hard
u wanna love no more
u wanna run no more
u wanna care no more
u juz wanna start all over again
takin back everythin tat u've gave
u dun wanna wander anymore
u dun wanna kiss anymore
the hardest part is yet to come

but if ure willin to let me
u wun walk this world alone

u noe i still love and it will nvr change
push me away
u noe wad im sayin
wun change my feelins
cant be happy away from ur side
cant have anyone but ya
no one as special as ya
like no other

u and i are the same
as stuborn as can be

push me away

many things i hide within
all the emotions and feelins deep within
words unspeakable to the mouth
never wearin wad is on my mind
never to bare my true feelins
unwillin and findin it hard
rather i hold them to myself
than to let the very precious u worry
i cant find it to be honest with myself
cant bring myself to
lettin go in a way u'll nvr contrive to comprehend
in my very own way
encryptin.hidin them among words and sentences
memories are wad they are to me
holdin them cherished

life isnt perfect without seein ya
cant have anyone but ya

hate is not a reason

theres no need to be suprised
theres no need to be sad
a person alone livin thru all the sorrows
walkin past every single person
lettin go
lettin go of my hand
no matter how he treats u
no matter how much he lets u go
no matter how life treats u
juz one person all alone

hate is not a reason

theres no need to understand me on purpose
i'm juz one person
one person alone
theres no need to know me fully
i'm nothin but one

small little words tat made u happy
small little things tat could do no harm
little stuff tat warms ur heart
its hope tat ur sunshine brings
and i was
and i always will

till the day tat we meet again
goin on our seperate ways for now
it wasnt too long ago
when fate dealt reality
angels tat fall without wings
but they are still angels
angels tat fall
losin their devotion
without faith and are they the same
paper heart
ure much stronger than me
the joy is a present
the hurt even better
doesnt matter tonight
it doesnt repeat anyway